If I Don’t Love Me
Y’all, let me keep it real—it’s not always easy loving yourself when the world constantly tells you to be less. Less loud. Less bold. Less you. As a fat, Black woman, I’ve had more than my share of side-eyes, unsolicited advice, and people trying to tell me who I’m supposed to be.
But here’s the deal: I’m not shrinking for anybody. This is my life, my body, and my journey, and I’m learning to love every inch of it.
1. Loving the Skin I’m In
Can we be honest for a sec? Some days I wake up and think, “Dang, girl, you’re killing it.” Other days, I’m avoiding mirrors like the plague. But no matter what, I remind myself: this body is mine, and it’s worthy of love right now—not 10 pounds from now, not when I hit some imaginary goal.
- My mantra? “You’re already a whole snack, boo. Act like it.”
- I’ve stopped waiting for the world’s permission to love myself. I give myself permission.
2. Speaking Up for Myself
Let me tell you, I used to be that girl who let people talk crazy to me. Fat jokes? Ignored. Backhanded compliments? Nervous laugh. Not anymore.
- Now? I’m speaking up. Don’t like it? That’s a you problem, not a me problem.
- Boundaries? Oh, I’m setting them all day long. If you can’t respect my space, you don’t get access to it.
3. Flipping the Script on Beauty
Y’all, these beauty standards? Not made for us. And honestly, I don’t care anymore.
- I’m making my own rules: Confidence? Check. A face that glows with or without makeup? Double-check.
- Whether I’m rocking leggings and a hoodie or a bomb-ass dress, I’m fine as hell because I said so.
4. Protecting My Peace
Listen, the world can be heavy, and sometimes you’ve gotta protect your peace at all costs. For me, that looks like:
- Therapy (because we all need help unpacking our baggage).
- Solo dance parties in my kitchen—yes, even when my son side-eyes me.
- Surrounding myself with people who remind me how dope I am when I forget.
5. Living Loud and Loving It
Can we talk about joy for a minute? Because I’m done letting the world box me into their tired-ass stereotypes.
- Fat Black women are joyful, sexy, brilliant, and everything else the world doesn’t expect us to be.
- I laugh too loud, dance too much, and celebrate every damn thing. That’s just who I am.
6. Being a Role Model for My Son
Raising a Black boy in this world is no joke, and I want my son to grow up loving who he is—because he learned it from me.
- He sees me loving myself, even on my bad days.
- I remind him that confidence isn’t about what you look like—it’s about owning who you are.
7. Imperfect, but Still Amazing
Look, some days are hard. Some days, I still catch myself wishing I looked different or felt different. But self-love isn’t about being perfect—it’s about showing up, even when it’s hard.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, this is my journey, and I’m owning every messy, beautiful step of it. I’m not here to fit into anybody’s box—I’m here to take up space, live boldly, and love myself out loud.
So, if you’re on this journey too, let me just say: You are worthy. You are enough. And you don’t need to change a damn thing to be loved.
Let’s keep shining, laughing, and living unapologetically. We deserve it, sis. 💜